Day 24 - Merry Christmas Eve!

I am writing this the evening of so that I can truly take the day tomorrow to rest and relax and enjoy the day. I slept in by mistake - note to self when setting a snooze alarm make sure you actually set it. I got ready in 20 minutes and can we just appreciate how great I looked for 20 minutes of prep time? Off I went into more chaos at work which lasted unexpectedly longer that predicted. Typically after 3 or 4, traffic at the mall really dies down because everyone is off doing their own thing to celebrate or just be with their people. But tonight it was busy right up until the very end. We closed at 5pm and were a few second late closing the doors and had people walk in at 5:02pm. We eve had someone try to get in at 5:15pm. Now normally, I’m all about customer service and doing a good deed, but I just wanted to go home and be with my family. I can’t be responsible for every person who leaves their shopping to Christmas Eve. So I had to let it go and accept that I couldn’t solve everyone’s problems for them tonight.

So finally I finished and off I went home for the Christmas Eve festivities to begin! Our Christmas Eve has always been pretty low-key. In the past, it’s mostly just been the four of us - my parents, me and my brother. As we got older, sometimes just me and my parents. Occasionally my late grandparents would be visiting and join for the fun. This year it was our usual “quiet” group - my parents, me, my brother and his wife. I wouldn’t call us “quiet” exactly because our evenings are full of laughter and lots of tomfoolery!

I don’t see my brother very often so when we have family gatherings we get to be silly together and I feel like a kid again. He makes me feel like I can be weird and silly and it doesn’t mean I’m any less mature. In fact our mischief I think brings us closer together - that’s probably why my Mom puts up with it! We had a bit of a wine debacle when a whole glass of red wine landed on me and my parents’ white curtains. Luckily with some teamwork and calm temperaments we were able to salvage both myself and the curtains ( I think!) We all made light of the situations tidied it up and sat down to dinner! And it was worth the wait! It always is! Every year we order pies from a local business. I try to eat less meat during the year but on Christmas Eve I make an exception and my Dad and I both order Tortiere. It’s always so good and my Mom always makes a yummy salad - this year was pomegranate and Halloumi salad.

After dinner and some sweets we all squished in to watch a movie and the winning vote went to A Christmas Story. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it and I didn’t really appreciate it as a kid. It mostly freaked me out - especially the mean Santa and his mean elves! As an adult I can appreciate it much more and really enjoy the satire and jokes in the movie that I never quite got when I was younger.

After my brother and my sister-in-law left, my Mom surprised me with a little gift - matching PJ’s! She and I had joked about our family getting a matching set but she knew she and I and maybe my sister-in-law would be the only ones to get on board - plus I’m the only one that stays over. So she and I changed and I enjoyed a little nightcap. A little gaming to make sure I wasn’t missing anything too festive in the virtual world and then a nice little sit down by the tree. Tradition is, at the end of the night, to sit around the tree and admire the lights and chat and wind down before bed. Usually there’s sherry, Grand Marnier or Bailey’s involved.

Navi was quite ready to turn in for the night now here we are. Cozy in bed and ready to crash. It’s almost 2am after-all. This year has been strange. As I’ve reflected before, this was my #sadgirlchristmas. It’s hard to accept that memories you thought you would make with someone else will now be solo or just not involve the people you thought. Breakups before Christmas are especially tough when you usually are full throttle Christmas like me. But I have felt myself grow stronger and I would much rather sacrifice one Christmas to a little sadness than share it with someone who does not value you or want me. So I will hold joy gratefulness in my heart for the people I have and the people that choose to appreciate me and all I have to offer. And in return I will hold so much love in my heart for them and when I am sad, try to shine a light on someone else.

And while the point of this is to not only help me find joy during a difficult/stressful time, it’s also to share this with you, sometimes it’s okay for things just to feel hard. And if you haven’t quite got to the level of “joy” you wanted to feel for yourself, my next best advice is to try to think about what joy you could bring to someone else? Surprise someone with a card? Compliment a stranger? Ring and old friend just to see how they are? Buy someone’s coffee in the line behind you? Leave a little love note for a friend or loved one?

You might be surprised by how easily we are affected by the joy of others.

I hope that if you are celebrating Christmas, you have had a lovely Christmas Eve and I am wishing you happiest Christmas. May you have shelter, warmth and love. and may you try to share it with someone today and every day. And if you don’t celebrate, I hope you still have all those things and if this season is hard, be gentle with yourself. Care for yourself. It will soon be over.

Thank you for those of you that follow along a read this. I so appreciate you being here and I hope that it has brought you some joy or just brought you something, Even if it’s a distraction.

Wishing you all the joy you deserve and more,

-B