Day Twenty-Four - Merry Christmas Eve!
Oh my lovely friends - we made it! Another year, another 24 days under wraps and yet again I don’t know where the time went. It felt especially difficult this year to 1) remember to take photos and 2) stay on top of my daily summaries. When I think about why, I think there are two reasons. This year I didn’t really have a routine or a daily schedule to adapt to this new reflection routine. Most years I’ve had my routine kind of down, but this year I don’t feel like I’ve settled into one yet. My depression has really thrown me off of what was my normal life schedule and I’m still kind of figuring out what my new one is. My sleep is still a work in progress and that can make finding a routine harder. The other reasons I think it was a bit harder was that I was so busy in the moment that I forgot to capture it - and I think that’s okay because that’s kind of the point of exercise. To help me live in the moment and recognize the moments while I’m in them. Today my Mom said something that has stuck with me. Explaining that I still had to write my final piece for 24 Days of Joy I said “I have to do my blog post” to which my Mom responded “You get to do your blog post”. And while I do think that there is a line that makes the idea of simply rephrasing negative thoughts not the right solution, in this circumstance I think she was right. I get so focused on posting on time, updating socials so people know and just getting it out there that I sometimes forget to enjoy the process of these posts. It’s why I started doing it in the first place. So I hope I can remember that next year when the time rolls around again. I also had a bunch of ideas for posts outside of 24 Days of Joy that I wasn’t able to get around to so maybe next year will be the year.
Now, on to today. I will admit that the morning that was supposed to be nice and slow and relaxing took a bit of a turn when my wall shelf decided to go on strike and my dresser drawer completely collapsed. I spent most of the morning trying to fix it only for them both to fall apart again so I finally had to say - it is what it is, I can’t control this and this is a problem for another day. So I moved on to getting ready for our Christmas Eve matinee of The Nutcracker and the grumpiness in me slowly melted away. The folks I sing with are so lovely and talented and it’s just a very warm and friendly group of people who love to sing. And also our Maestro today had an amazing hat that looked like a Christmas tree so that kind of helped melt all the frustration of the morning away.
I went to meet my parents for the evening’s festivities, but they were running late. Instead of letting myself get frustrated I decided this would be a great opportunity to keep reading my book. I’m almost finished it and got very close to the end while I was waiting. It was a silly little book but it was cute and festive and quick to read - just what I needed to help me out of my reading rut!
We celebrated Christmas Eve at my brother and sister-in-laws place and they did such a great job of making the place look festive and feel festive with appetizers, drinks and snacks galore. It was wonderful! We tried some new dishes and my favourites were the Jalebi and Gulab Jamun so if you have a sweet tooth and are in the mood to try some new desserts I highly recommend these two. However the most popular at the table I think was the Rasmalai. We had our usual Christmas Eve pies as our main course and played a game or two while we waited for the evenings attraction.
Eventually we all piled in the car together and went to see a light display and it was so fun! Usually we spend our Christmas Eve in doing puzzles or watching a movie but this year we decided to take the celebrations outside! We wandered through the different “worlds” and took in all the displays. It was really fun to be out with the people I love and I am so so grateful to have the opportunity to celebrate with them. Many pictures were taken and too many to truly capture the magic but I’ve tried to throw a few in to share it with you.
I think that tuckered us all out pretty good so it was time to part ways until the morning with my brother and sister-in-law and my parents and I travelled back to my house. We spent some time getting food moved over and stored in the fridge, some gifts appeared magically under the tree and then settled in to sit by the tree. A night cap and a little gift from my parents - it was nutcracker themed! This year has been a very exciting one for me because I finally started performing again for the first time in years, and so being in this show has been kind of a big deal for me. For so many years I felt like I had lost my voice, but now that I’m teaching and singing regularly I feel like I’m finding it again and it means so much to have my parents supporting me through that journey and showing up for every performance.
And now here I am, lying in the office reflecting on a wonderful day and finally letting the relaxation take hold. I know that there are still a lot of hard and scary things going on in the world, and that the holidays can be a hard time for some people. And that’s so okay. You can hold space for all those hard emotions, and still find little moments. They don’t have to cancel each other out. Your small moment may be as simple as seeing a beautiful flower, a warm cup of tea. There is no moment too small, and while I often try to do things especially festive during this time on the blog, that’s really not the point. It’s about finding the pockets of joy in the trials of life, and living for them.
I hope that you can find some, and if not, keep trying. It takes practice and I promise they are there. I’m so glad you’re here.
Wishing you all a warm and safe holidays, keep finding joy, keep fighting for those who need more of it, and just keep going.
Merry Christmas, with love,
B