Year in Review: 2021
This has been a strange year. One that seemingly lasted forever and flew by all at the same time. In short - it was a very challenging year with a lot of changes. We rocked in and out of lockdown, I got promoted twice, I got vaccinated x2, I quit my teaching job and started living alone for the first time since 2017.
This year I felt depression and existential confusion take more of a front seat - my anxiety was still there but she was sleeping in the passenger seat. She would wake up every now and again but I’d giver her a blanket and she’d go back to sleep. That is to say, I feel like while she was there, I was better able to cope through those anxious moments. The depressive episodes and feeling an empty future was the hardest to work through because it felt like the only answer I was getting was “you just have to be patient and be okay with not knowing.” Which honestly I’m sick of hearing at this point…but let’s move on.
I always like to think about what themes jump out at me when I think of the last year. This year felt very focused on maintaining boundaries without guilt, and being okay with imperfection. It’s a work in progress and I’m still really uncomfortable when I feel I’m not doing things the best I can do. I think I need to keep working on reframing that - This is my best right now, because my capacity for what I can do without sacrificing my well being has changed. And that’s okay. Trying not to let the anxiety of imperfection eat away at me has been challenging but I’ve been working hard on it and plan to take that into the new year.
And so a theme for the next year to come? I can’t say for sure…but I think it’s going to be about diving in and trying something without knowing the results. And about ideas not plans. I want to make ideas. Life is too tumultuous right now for plans but I could come up with endless ideas! How exciting to think of this time next year, going through all the ideas I had, and which ones I still want to accomplish or which ones I decided were off the list. Will I quit my job and switch career paths? Will I move to a new province? Will I start publishing a book? Maybe I’ll start singing again…or start dancing again. Who knows? I’m my own compass and I look forward to seeing where I end up without the pressure of a commitment.
Usually I start a new year with a Yoga challenge. For the last few years I’ve done 30 days of yoga to start the year and this year I knew better. I’ve struggled with yoga so much lately that I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment or frustration if I forget. But I know it’s there and how to find it when I need it. I hope that I can find that connection again soon. And if not, maybe I will connect to something else instead.
What are your ideas for the new year? Do you need plans to get you through or are you ready to see where the year takes you like me this time?
Here’s to ideas.
Happy New Year Friends.
Now here’s a glimpse at some highlights or just some really representative moments of this last year:
