That Stupid Walk for Your Stupid Mental Health

Illustration by Mia Clow

I’m sure I don’t really need to explain that title - most of you have probably seen the meme or the tik tok or the reel or something on social media about it. It’s that thing we all know we should do because it’s so annoyingly good for us but it’s really hard to actually get around to it. If you haven’t seen it, it’s usually a video of someone marching along begrudgingly outdoors with a caption of “Going on a stupid walk for my stupid mental health”. It gets even better when winter hits and you add a snowstorm and a parka to the mix.

So the relatable thing about that is that even though we know it’s something that’s good for us…we’re so annoyed about having to do it. There’s this annoyance about having to keep up the routine. Why is it so hard to do the things that are good for us and we know will make us feel a bit better in the end?

I had a therapy +session the other day and was talking about how I felt like I was right back to where I was around the holidays where those normal every day survival and good-for-you things were really hard - doing dishes, cleaning the house, taking out the trash, eating meals, buying groceries etc. I’ve talked about this before in other posts - I would get so frustrated with myself. Why couldn’t I do things that I normally did? I used to do really well. Why can’t I do it anymore? In previous sessions she explained and reminded me that motivation is not a unlimited resource She was pretty clear when she said that between now and our next session I needed to get outside. I had mentioned that I knew I should - I would look outside and see the sun shining and know that I should get out but it was really hard to get from the thought to the action. She asked what might make it easier for me to take the action to which I responded with “I’m not sure what would motivate me” and she was pretty quick to smack that idea right out of my head. “We aren’t looking for motivation,” she said and reminded me that it was a finite resource and with everything else I was dealing with there was no space left for motivation. So it wasn’t about finding motivation, it was just about making the tasks manageable. Take for example dishes - you put it off but then the pile of dishes gets bigger and so it’s even harder to accomplish the task so you keep putting it off and it just gets bigger and harder to approach it. So how do you move yourself from the “I know I should do this, it will make me feel better” to actually doing it?

Small, manageable chunks that’s how. Going for the walk can be a walk around the block. It can be less than 10 minutes outdoors - it still counts. And knowing that it isn’t going to be a huge commitment might make it easier to move into the action. Same with dishes. Don’t do all the dishes. Do some of them then take a break and come back to it later. I have been finding it really helpful to start by just putting my dishes in to soak, then going to take a walk or take a shower or switching the activity. When I comes back from the easier activity I feel like I’m ready to tackle part 2 of the dishes.

I’ve talked about this smaller manageable chunks before with regard to goal setting. Don’t make your goal “write essay for school”, make your goal “Find 5 credible resources for essay research” or “Write outline of essay”. Break it down into something less intimidating for yourself so that you can break the avoidance. But remember to be gentle with yourself too. Your inner voice can say “It’s okay that this is hard right now and it’s okay that it doesn’t happen right away.” and at the same time say “Why don’t we just clean the bathroom today and call it a day?” You can hold yourself gently and give yourself the nudge you need when you know it’s good for you. I found myself feeling like either I was going to be compassionate with myself or I was going to push myself to do the things I didn’t want to do. And I am now discovering that it can be both and you can find that balance and ways of making it easier. In fact, sometimes being gentle with yourself can make a big different in how you are able to take action.

I hope that this has helped those of you who may be struggling with everyday things. I’ll remind you of what my therapist reminded me - we’re not aiming for A+ right now. I know that can be a hard habit to break but you are working through a lot and perfection is just never going to be the answer. Show up with what you have, and let that be enough.

Take care friends,

-B